Irish Papist

Irish Papist
Me and General Robert Lee

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Another Jokey Poem

I wrote this several years ago. The ballade form is one that Chesterton and Belloc often used, jokingly. I wrote it on the day before New Year's Eve. I think I've posted it before but so what.

A Ballade of TV

I’ve grown quite tired of Kant’s philosophy
I do not feel a deep urge to recite
Icelandic sagas to my coterie.
I feel no very ardent need to write
A gloss upon the Areopagite.
And, although Maud invited me to see
A Noh play at her cousin’s place tonight
I’m going to stay at home and watch TV.

There’s a free lecture on Gallipoli
In the Polytech. East Timor’s sorry plight
Is the subject of a talk—admission free—
In the parish hall. An ancient Mayan rite
Is reconstructed for our town’s delight
In the Rovers clubhouse (there’ll be cakes and tea).
But all these cherries I refuse to bite;
I’m going to stay at home and watch TV.

Although I’m wild about astronomy
And Gemini is going to be more bright
Than any time since 44 AD
This evening, I’m indifferent to the sight.
And though I’m well aware it’s not polite
To snub my Auntie Mildred’s desperate plea,
“Come watch your uncle being made a Knight”
I’m going to stay at home and watch TV.


Prince, you have lost all prospect of respite;
The mob howl for your blood relentlessly.
Now is the hour for all true men to fight;
I’m going to stay at home and watch TV.

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