If anyone ever says or does anything that upsets you, this means that they are a narcissist. It doesn't matter whether it's a romantic partner, family member, political opponent, boss, or colleague. Nor do you need any sort of psychological training to diagnose them. In fact, you don't even have to read a psychology book. You just know.
Once you have diagnosed narcissism, don't hesitate to publicize this via a Facebook post or YouTube video. Don't overthink it, just go for it.
If you find that almost everyone you have to deal with is a narcissist, remember-- the problem is them, not you.
A word on gaslighting. Never forget: if someone disagrees with your take on reality, they are gaslighting you. If you think maybe they are not gaslighting you, this just shows how effectively they are gaslighting you. In fact, the less you think they might be gaslighting you, the more subtle their psychological manipulation must be. If you only have the vaguest suspicion someone might be gaslighting you, that person is almost certainly a sociopath.
Yes, these terms are overused. People want to diagnose everything.
ReplyDeleteOn that same topic, there have always been people who think differently. Is that neurodivergent? That's one word, but is it really a pathology. I think in the old days, in small communities, you know people and people know you and you interact based on that. Communication is not trivial. Even with the best communicators there can be misunderstandings.
Then you have people saying they have aphantasia. I don't think nearly as many people do as think they do. Or then a few years back people were saying they didn't have an internal monologue. Well, I don't know if anyone does. Sometimes people think in words, sometimes they think visually, and a lot of times it's a mix of the two.
There are many varieties of behavior and thinking and these vary amongst people. They don't need to be a medical or psychological diagnosis.
Yes, I remember those claims, and I was similarly sceptical. (Well, I remembered the internal monologue one. I had to look up aphantasia. Actually I think I am somewhat aphantastic-- if that's the word! I have an incredibly poor visual memory.)
DeleteDefinitely people want to over-diagnose everything. The neurodiversity course I was on yesterday explained that Asperger's Syndrome is no longer a diagnosis. There's no such thing. It blinked out of existence! It makes me wonder what other conditions (or whatever word you want to use) might blink out of existence overnight.
Asperger's "disappeared" due to political correctness - when it was noticed that Asperger had lived during the Third Reich.
DeleteWhich "cancelling" is ironic, considering that the term was popularized and propagated by someone I used to know professionally: Prof Simon Baron Cohen, whose name makes my point (he is a cousin of "Ali G" and they look similar).
Not really a disorder; but Asperger's was an undeniably useful shorthand term for a recognizable high IQ and articulate personality type.
Its replacement (autistic spectrum) lacks any valid coherence, since originally (and when I was at Med School) autism was a form of very rare and *severe* mental handicap (most such people had very poor language; could not read and did not speak), with zero sense of a "spectrum" of severity merging into normality.
On the wider issue you are surely correct. For several decades even the most valid diagnosis or effective treatements have been widened to an remarkable degree.
The diagnoses become useless then discredited, and even effective treatments soon cause more harm than good by being given inappropriately and to too many people.
The reason is that usually than over-expansion serves the interests of some corporation or group. For example, increasing the diagnosis of bipolar disorder by approx a hundredfold; made a fortune for Big Pharma, and plenty for US doctors.
In an even broader sense; it seems to be a standard way for PSYOPS to discredit any potentially dangerous-to-the-establishment analytic concept; i.e. grossly to over-expand, blur, and discredit its usage.
That's all absolutely fascinating. Thank you! I didn't know any of that, although I vaguely remember Asperger having Nazi connections.
DeleteI must say though...gaslighting does exist and people are only beginning to understand it as a form of abuse. Having said that.... you can overboard with any of these issues.
ReplyDeleteDifficult people seem to get labelled as narcissistic in a lump these days,rather than simply stating it as it is- the person chooses to be difficult.
Oh, gaslighting definitely exists. I even think it exists politically. I still think we're too promiscuous with the term, though.
DeleteI actually think it's a good and useful word-- it's just been weaponised too much.
I wonder if the more low-key version should be called candlelighting?