"You are always complaining of melancholy, and I conclude from those complaints that you are fond of it. No man talks of that which he is desirous to conceal, and every man desires to conceal that of which he is ashamed. Do not pretend to deny it; manifestum habemus furem [we have caught a thief red-handed]; make it an invariable and obligatory law to yourself, never to mention your own mental diseases; If you are never to speak of them you will think on them but little, and if you think little of them, they will molest you rarely. When you talk of them, it is plain that you want either praise or pity; for praise there is no room, and pity will do you no good; therefore, from this hour speak no more, think no more about them."
I came across this quotation just now and was struck by just how much it clashes with the general discourse about depression today.
I'm not saying that Johnson is right, mind you! The last thing I would want to do (insofar as my writings here might sway anybody) is to discourage anybody from seeking help or counselling if they're feeling depressed. I can well believe that it saves lives in extreme circumstances.
But in my own experience, I haven't noticed that expressing feelings of ordinary melancholy or dejection ever does much to lift them in itself. People are usually depressed about circumstances. Talking about them doesn't usually change those circumstances, although a conversation might help in other ways: for instance, someone could be reassured that their anxieties are ill-founded, if the other person has greater experience on the matter at hand.
I think Johsnon is right in saying "you want either praise or pity"; most people in this situation are probably looking for pity. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. I've done it myself (sometimes on this blog). Maybe pity isn't the right word. Maybe it's reassurance that your feelings matter to someone. Or hope that you might get some special treatment, which perhaps everyone needs once in a while.
We're always hearing these days that men don't talk about their feelings enough and this is why there is so much male suicide. Personally I don't believe this for a moment. What if men don't particularly want to talk about their feelings and the problem is not their feelings, but external realities-- such as soulless secularism, loss of community, fragility of relationships, and so on?
Johnson's attitude is perhaps surprising given his love of The Anatomy of Melancholy by Robert Burton, a half-a-million word treatise on the subject of depression, which he famously said was the only book which could get him out of bed an hour earlier than he wished to rise.
It is this kind of remark that reminds me why Johnson is one of my favorite writers or in this case speakers. He not merely speaks sense. He shines a brilliant light on it so that you think, of course, it has to be so. GKC was like this too.
ReplyDeleteGKC once dressed up as Samuel Johnson! I think they are very similar. I'm always amazed Johnson's witticisms are not as well known as Wilde's or Twain's etc.
Deletehttps://www.alamy.com/g-k-chesterton-as-dr-samuel-johnson-at-the-branksome-tower-hotel-bournemouth-in-1930-taken-from-an-original-photograph-by-n-d-larkin-for-the-london-photographers-larkin-brothers-image375376721.html?imageid=152BF8C5-9660-476D-8936-A3B4BBDCEBB4&pn=1&searchId=f01a01261c9607fe9b90d8e0da307d1d&searchtype=0
A point I would connect with what you say. Has anyone noticed how 'mental' or neuro-divergent diagnoses are turning into a sought-after commodity? Autism particularly. And the idea is that when someone announces their 'diagnosis' you should phone them to congratulate them. So brave etc. If you want to get the kind of contrast I am talking about, imagine congratulating someone on getting late-stage leukemia. Mental problems have become a ticket to cheap sympathy.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed this alright. It's almost something to brag about. It's funny you bring it up, because within the last hour I've just finished joining in a Zoom training session on neurodiversity. Much of it was valuable but I cringed a little when we saw a video in which neurodivergent people were boasting about how awesome they are!
DeleteBTW: I used to be very keen on Burton's Anatomy of Melancholy, albeit I only sampled the vast text by skipping most of the extensive quotations - but I haven't re-read for a long while.
ReplyDeleteI think you, and Johnson, make a valid point that is worth considering and is usually true. But pity-seeking aside, it *can* be helpful if you let another person know when you are mentally sub-optimal.
I get frequent and long-lasting migraines, and so very often must attend social functions with a partly-treated pain in my head, and behaviour that is somewhat "zonked".
Over the years I found that it is better to let people know - in a matter of fact way, and briefly - that I have a medicated migraine at the moment, and apologize if I seem less responsive than usual.
This seems a better alternative than having people assume that I am being made miserable by their company, or can't be bothered to interact.
I got the idea partly from once arranging to meet an old friend I hadn't seen for a year or so. When we met he said he was glad to see me, but had been suffering from some psychological symptoms recently so he would let me know in advance that he not stay very long.
I appreciated this, because if he had not explained his early exit, I would very likely have assumed that he did not really want to meet me, and had been desperate to get away - and that would probably have been our last meeting.
Bruce
That sounds entirely unobjectionable (and helpful) to me and I don't think anyone could object to it. I'm sorry about the migraines, they sound utterly awful.
DeleteI've been meaning to give Anatomy of Melancholy a go. I think your approach is the best-- not trying to swallow it whole!
@Mal - I would certainly give "anatomy" a try, even if you only read for a couple of hours. Or kept beside the bed (or toilet).
DeleteI have two harback copies, my favourite being this 1927 edition from the US
https://archive.org/details/anatomyofmelanch0000robe_t2k7/page/n1/mode/2up
which has all the (many!) Latin passages translated into English.
I will, someday! Thanks.
DeleteAll fair points. And let me say I know that mental illness is devastating. My mother was schizophrenic. It is the commodification of it that is trivializing.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I certainly don't want to downplay serious mental health issues.
DeleteI think a major problem with the fixation on mental health is that it pretends the outer world doesn’t exist. Perhaps the fact we live in a brutal economic system, a soulless world of tech domination, a culture where ties, community and the Transcendent are trashed and so on might be a pretty grim experience. In one way, the focus on the inner is a form of victim-blaming: you are the problem, fix yourself or shut up.
ReplyDeleteWell, I completely agree. And actually I think most people would agree if it came to it, although they might disagree on the nature of the external problems.
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