My father asked me that question yesterday. I replied, "I'm writing my Catholic Voice articles and my Open Door articles."
"That's not much, is it?" he asked.
It occurred to me that he was right, and that I haven't even been writing much on this blog.
The truth is, I have been in a period of withdrawal. Partly, in terms of this blog, it's because I wrote a lot of posts that expressed some of my deepest and oldest ideas, and I felt rather cleaned out in terms of blogging.
But partly it's because I've had my own struggles. This blog expresses all the things I believe in, all my ideals; but I fall miserably short of those ideals. I used to post prayer requests at difficult times, but I stopped doing it, because I felt I was worrying people. I would get concerned emails, which I always appreciated, but which made me feel bad for causing anxiety and seeking attention. (And seeking attention was exactly what I was doing.)
If I ever seem like I am sermonizing in this blog, I realize I am the last person who can afford to sermonize. Please pray for me to overcome my faults, most especially pride and fear. Or, more accurately, please pray for me to let God's grace overcome my faults.
I also want to thank everyone who's ever read this blog, and everyone who's commented, and everyone who's prayed for me. This blog has meant so much to me, especially the fact that there are no boundaries to what I can write about; the more I have pushed the boat out, the more I have been delighted that people continued to read it, and to respond.
I cannot ever remember a time, from my earliest boyhood, when I didn't have the urge to express the things that excited my imagination in written words (and, back then, in pictures). I remember once, watching a TV programme about Def Leppard, my enthusiasm must have been so obvious that my older brother said: "Maolsheachlann will be writing about a heavy metal band called Blind Cheetah next." That's the kind of thing I did. It's so wonderful when somebody is there, on the other end, to be an audience. It makes all the difference.
So thank you, and please pray for me (as I pray for you), and don't go away-- this blog is a going concern.
It is good to see you back - though you haven't been away that long, and I think you are remarkably prolific.ReplyDelete
For some reason, reading your words, I was reminded of the end of R. S. Thomas's poem 'The Moon in Lleyn' -
'Even as this moon
Making its way through the moon's
Cumbersome shadow, prayer, too,
Has its phases.'
Perhaps that goes for writing, as well?
Thanks, Dominic. Yes, I think it's true of everything. We are cyclical beings!Delete
Better for people to be overly concerned than not know at all I think. Best to have a few prayers to be safe.ReplyDelete