Sunday, October 4, 2020

A Joke I Made Up

A sacristan arrived at church a half-an-hour before Mass one Saturday morning and saw that the priest was on the phone, obviously having a rather intense conversation. When he finally hung up, he said: "That was a parishioner whose mother is dying. She left the Faith years ago but now she's hedging over whether she wants the Last Rites or not. She's touch and go. If she says she wants them, I want to rush over there straight away. I'm not sure whether we should go ahead with Mass."

"Oh no!", said the sacristan.

"It's not just that", said the priest. "All the altar boys went to a barbecue yesterday and got food poisoning. Every single one of them is laid up sick today."

"Oh no!" said the sacristan.

"And it's not just that, either", said the priest. "I can't for the life of me find the key for the cupboard with the Communion wafers. I always hang it on the same hook and it's not there now. I've looked everywhere."

"Look", said the sacristan, "there's no way we can go ahead with Mass under these circumstances I'll go out and make the announcement."

The church was beginning to fill up, so the sacristan stepped up and said: "Folks, we're very sorry, but Mass can't go ahead today. All of our servers are down, we can't access the Host, and a terminal is giving us all kinds of trouble."


  1. Not bad Maolsheachlann, it made me chuckle not groan! Story jokes are the best. Sinéad.

    1. Thanks Sinéad! I hope you are well. I agree about story jokes being the best!

  2. Good gag. Totally unexpected punchline!