Friday, December 20, 2013

Positive for Condom

Computer translations are hilarious. I came across this computerized translation of an article about Cardinal Georges Cottiers, a Swiss Cardinal who suggested that condom use could be morally legitimate if used to prevent the spread of Aids. (Is it Aids or AIDS? I never liked AIDS.)

Here it is:

Once again, a cardinal was positive for condom. In addition to the Vatican's health minister said even now Cardinal Cottier Georges, Theologian of the Papal Household, that the condom in special cases "legitimate" is. A Roman moral theologian had clarified the position of the Church to have sexual intercourse with plastic barriers as early as last week.

Sexual intercourse with plastic barriers, hmmmm. Not sure about that.

But it's not only translat-a-bots that come up with funny stuff. We went to Germany, Austria and Italy on our honeymoon (I thought of beginning that sentence, "My wife and I...", but who else could it mean?) As I was planning the trip, I came across some very endearingly Teutonic English on the tourist websites.

I loved this description of folk theatre in Mittenwald:

Be it lumberjacks, men who loudly crack their whip’s and Schuhplattler a Bavarian folk dance see all of it. When talking about dance the smallest already practice the waltz and the perfect techniques of how to spin the girls around.

While this website for the Hotel Fussen, in its description of the mountainous Allgäu region, has no time for the philosophy of "don't mention the war";

Searching for the perfect place to spend your weekend holiday or your week-long vacation? Why not try going to one of the greatest European regions in Germany, the Allgäu? If you want to be one with nature and at the same time, explore the culture of Germany without stereotyping and relating it to the notorious Swastika, this region in the south-west of Bavaria is the perfect tourism place for you to go to.


  1. Antaine, I accidentally deleted this comment (the "publish" button is right beside the "delete" button):

    "That's pretty funny. YouTube also has (or at least had) a feature where it would try to create subtitles for videos based on the sounds of the video. Some pretty funny stuff.

    On a side note - I like the dresses and hairstyles of those Bavarian women, but I'm not sure about the clothes of the men. I always thought they were kind of odd. Hopefully I don't offend anyone with my opinions."

    Well, I think they'd need to be pretty thin-skinned to be offended by that. And yes, they do look pretty odd. But it's TRADITION so "it's all good" (to use a phrase I hate!).

  2. Indeed, I wouldn't want to embarrass anyone out of their traditions. I hate that phrase too.